Tax System explained using Beer

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100...
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this...

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve ball.

"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20". Drinks for the ten men would now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes.

So the first four men were unaffected.

They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men?
The paying customers?

How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?

They realised that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each Man’s bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the Principle of the tax system they had been using, and he proceeded to Work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.

And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% Saving).

The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% saving).

The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% saving).

The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% saving).

The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% saving).

The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% saving).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20 saving," declared the sixth man.

He pointed to the tenth man,"but he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar too. It's unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!"

"That's true!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back, when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "we didn't get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and government ministers, is how our tax system works.

The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction.

Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.

In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics.

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

What every car owner should know

Got this from a friend: Really useful if you own/plan to own a car.

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My new car's booklet specifically states that one should open car windows for 5 minutes + to air the car before switching on the Air Condition I wondered why.

No wonder more folks are dying from cancer than ever before. We wonder where this stuff comes from but here is an example that explains a lot of the cancer causing incidents. Hmmm. Many people are in their cars first thing in the morning and the last thing at night, 7 days a week. As I read this, it makes me feel guilty and ill. Please pass this on to as many people as possible. Guess its not too late to make some changes

Car A/C (Air Conditioning) MUST READ!!!
Please do NOT turn on A/C as soon as you enter the car.

Open the windows after you enter your car and turn ON the AC after a couple of minutes.

Here's why:

According to a research, the car dashboard, sofa, air freshener emit

Benzene, a Cancer causing toxin (carcinogen - take time to observe the smell of heated plastic in your car).

In addition to causing cancer, Benzene poisons your bones, causes anemia and reduces white blood cells.

Prolonged exposure will cause Leukemia, increasing the risk of cancer.

Can also cause miscarriage.

Acceptable Benzene level indoors is 50 mg per sq. Ft. A car parked indoors with windows closed will contain 400-800 mg of Benzene.

If parked outdoors under the sun at a temperature above 60 degrees F, the Benzene level goes up to 2000-4000 mg, 40 times the acceptable level.

People who get into the car, keeping windows closed will inevitably inhale,in quick succession, excessive amounts of the toxin.

Benzene is a toxin that affects your kidney and liver.. What's worse, it is extremely difficult for your body to expel this toxic stuff.

So friends, please open the windows and door of your car - give time for interior to air out -dispel the 20 deadly stuff - before you enter.

Black and White

A White woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a Black man.

Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess. "Madam, what is the matter," the Hostess asked.

"You obviously do not see it then?" she responded.

"You placed me next to a Black man.

I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat." "Be calm please, " the Hostess replied.

"Almost all the places on this flight are taken.

I will go to see if another seat is available."

The Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later.

"Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the Economy class.

I spoke to the Captain and he informed me that there is also no seats in the Business class.

All the same, we still have one seat in the First class."

Before the woman could say anything, the Hostess continued: "It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the Economy class to sit in the First class.

However, given the circumstances, the Captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting."

She turned to the Black guy, and said, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in First class."

At that moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded.

Nice Contact Agreement - Humour

Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by a 96 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.

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Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to Pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have Elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of The funds needed to honor it.

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only Eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of Opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for The inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused Me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I Personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging prerecorded, faceless entity Which your bank has be come.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh and blood Person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no Longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed Personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must Nominate. Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any Other person to open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your Chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in Order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, There is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical History must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory Details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) Must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she Must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 Digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses Required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As They say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press Buttons as follows:

1. To make an appointment to see me

2. To query a missing payment.

3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there

4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.

5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home

7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is Required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.

8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.

9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put On hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.

Uplifting music will play for the duration of the call. While this may, on Occasion, involve a lengthy wait, Regrettably, but again following your Example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of This new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less Prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client

(Remember: This was written by a 96 year old woman )

Joke: Moses and his flock arrive at the sea

Moses and his flock arrive at the sea, with the Egyptians in hot pursuit.
Moses calls a staff meeting.
"Well, how are we going to get across the sea?" asked Moses. "We need a fast solution. The Egyptians are close behind us."
"Normally, I'd recommend that we build a pontoon bridge to carry us across," said the General Of The Armies, "but there's not enough time - the Egyptians are too close."
"Normally, I'd recommend that we build barges to carry us across," said the Admiral Of The Navy, "but time is too short."
"Does anyone have a solution?" asked Moses.
Just then, his Public Relations man raised his hand.
"You!" said Moses, "You have a solution?"
"No," said the PR man, "but I can promise you this: If you can find a way out of this one, I can get you two or three full pages in the Old Testament..."

Commonly Used Phrases at the Office and What they really mean

1. For your information, please. (FYI)
 
Meaning: I don't know what to do with this, so please keep it.
 
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2. Noted and returned.
 
Meaning: I don't know what to do with this, so please keep it little while.
 
******* 3. Review and comment.
 
Meaning: Do the dirty work so that I can forward it.
 
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4. Action please.
 
Meaning: Get yourself involved for me. Don't worry, I'll claim the credit.
 
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5. For your necessary action.
 
Meaning: It's your headache now.
 
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6. Copy to.
 
Meaning: Here's a share of my headache.
 
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7. For your approval, please.
 
Meaning: Put your neck on the chopping board for me please.
 
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8. Action is being taken.
 
Meaning: Your correspondence is lost and I am trying to locate it.
 
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9. Your letter is receiving our attention.
 
Meaning: I am trying to figure out what you want.
 
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10. Please discuss.
 
Meaning: I don't know what the hell this is, so please brief me.
 
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11. For your immediate action.
 
Meaning: Do it NOW! Or I will get into serious trouble.
 
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12. Please reply soon.
 
Meaning: Please be efficient. It makes me look inefficient.
 
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13. We are investigating/ processing your request with the relevant authorities.
 
Meaning: They are causing the delay, not us.
 
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14. Regards.
 
Meaning: Thanks and bless you for reading all the crap.
 
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Indian political party symbols and what they mean-on a lighter side

Q: Why is Samajwadi Party's symbol 'Cycle'?
A: Because after ban on English and use of computers, that's all we'll be able to afford
 
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Q: Why is Congress symbol 'Hand'?
A: To remind Indians that our fate is forever in the hand of one family
 
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Q: Why is BJP Symbol 'Lotus'?
A: Lotus is the symbol of Sarawasti and learning.
BJP will educate us through the wisdom of Varun Gandhi and Pravin Togadia.
 
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Q: Why is Mayawati's symbol 'Elephant'?
A: It's a self portrait.
 
 
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Q: Why is Jayalalitha's symbol 'Two leaves'?
A: Because that's what remained after Amma ate up all the fruit
 
 
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Q: Why is DMK's symbol 'Sun'?
A: So that Karunanidhi can justify wearing shades indoors
 
 
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Q: Why is Lalu's symbol 'Laltain'?
A: Because there's no electricity in Bihar
 
 
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Q: Why is CPM's symbol 'Hammer and sickle'?
A: Because that's what you will be using if they come to power
 
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Q: Why is Sharad Pawar's symbol 'Clock'?
A: Because his time never seems to come
 
 
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Q: Why is Shiv Sena's symbol 'Bow and arrow'?
A: I can tell you, but then I'll have to shoot you